Some very prominent speakers have made mistakes and a lot of good speakers do.  The difference is what they do with the mistake.  Often they turn it into an opportunity and embrace it; they don’t lose sleep over it.  You can learn some basic skills that will have you sounding very confident and smart when you are called upon to speak or just have something to say.   Read More...

Not everyone believes this but the emotional and mental aspects of a person, when combined, leads to better self improvement.

Emotions love to dominate our actions and reactions, even though we do not want it to happen sometimes. The society often see emotions as a sign of weakness, so people are used to putting them aside and focusing on the rational aspects more and more.

No matter how strict and logical you may be, you will always feel. One way or another, someone or something will get through you.

Positive emotions are a lifelong goal for many of us concerned about emotional health and self improvement. What is more important; the amount of money you made during your life or the times you laughed out of sheer joy?

People tend to put their positive emotions behind their negative feelings. This is one of the biggest problems that people come across during their lives.

There is no clear way to ignore a negative experience and try to replace it with a positive one. Life just does not work that way.

For example, when you were a child, if your goldfish dies, you would be heartbroken. Your parents will probably buy you another goldfish but the sorrow is still there.

Things get even more complex when you become an adult. A fight with your spouse the night before will affect your entire day. You will go to work angry, tired, and your mind will wander. On the way home from work you will not notice the sun shining and you would not be tempted to stop at a roadside stand to pick up some fresh fruits and vegetables.

All this because that one negative thought has contaminated the way you perceive the reality around you.

In this moment you will realize finding a safe place to relax your mind will do wonders for your emotional and mental improvement.

That place is relatively easy to find. It can be an actual place or an imaginary location. The best idea is to totally lose yourself in it.

Let us say you have a problem on your mind and it just would not go away. Go bowling. Do not know how? Just give it a shot.

Get caught up in the game. Your mind will drift away from the negative thoughts that dominated your last hours or days and start processing a whole new kind of information.

A safe haven can take many forms. It can be a song, a movie, even a person or animal. The main thing is allow yourself to get completely involved with this new activity.

You might still get flashes of the problem every now and then. Ignore it and get even more absorbed in what you are doing.

When the bowling game, the song, or the movie ends you will abruptly return to reality. You will probably want to retreat back to the safe place. Do not do it.

The safe place exists only as a helping hand, not as a solution to your life's problems, may it be a small or big. It serves only as an escape route.

You will return from your safe zone with an increased energy level. You will feel better about yourself and gain more confidence. You will see that any issue can be resolved.

This is how a small escape from a harsh reality can increase your emotional and mental health. Try to do this often and you are on your way to better self improvement.

Men are usually the aggressor and feel obligated to make the first move in a relationship.  Many men are held back by their own self confidence to even look in a womans direction for more than a glance.  A mans body language will signal an interest even when he is unaware of it.

It is a natural instinct of the male to attract a mate and reproduce.  There is fierce competition for this position so the male must be prepared to fight to the death.  On the other hand, women know they are hunted so they protect themselves and are often much more confident and selective.  So when a man is flirting he has the experience that gives him a confidence that is unique to him and his desires.

There are many confident male body language signals that you can learn to easily master.  Practice these steps and you will find they actually come quite naturally when you relax.

1. Be calm and composed, even if you really aren’t, don’t over react to her signals, be calm and smile this will let her know that you are confident and she will naturally follow your lead
2. Move slowly and with confidence, pay attention to how you sit, stand and move in general, showing that you are confident and composed will help her relax.  If you act nervous she will pick up on that too.
3. Don’t let yourself be hidden by those around you, claim your personal space with your body but, don’t be sloppy about it
4. Smile and be friendly
5. When you speak always speak clearly but, changing how loud you are will  force her to listen carefully when you are speaking softly and relaxing when you speak louder
6. Don’t laugh when you shouldn’t or too much
7. Smile when you make eye contact but don’t stare 

Many of our fears are unfounded and we often hold ourselves back because of them.  Have you ever seen a man laughed at or embarrassed for talking to a woman?   We only seem to notice the guys that are successful not the ones that aren’t.  The goal is to seem confident and relaxed, even if you aren’t and the more you work to display confident male body language the more natural it will become.  Remember that women are nervous too and your goal right now is to create interest and conversation.

Online dating is different than conventional dating mostly because you will learn a lot about a person before you even start talking to them.  When you do start communicating it may be limited.  Most if not all online dating sites give you limited access unless you are a paying member.  That is how they make their money.  When you do start communicating as a free member you will be given a few prewritten messages that you can send, but you will get a lot of information from a person’s profile.  There are no assurances that any of their profile information is true.

Perhaps you will want to jump right in and meet in person instead of talking first.  There are some guidelines to make the most of your time and keep your self respect at the same time.  If things do not work out you are still building social contacts.  Remember these are people that belong to the same club you do and they could come back leaving negative comments about the date.  You want to guard your reputation and this is done best by clearly stating your intentions.

1. You should not be too anxious to meet; this could make you seem desperate.  Let the first date happen after a few interactions.

1. Plan your first meeting to be a short one, if things are not working out you will be able to leave without feeling guilty.  At the same time you can make the date last longer if things are working out well.

1. It is always a bad idea to invite someone you do not know into your home.  You should meet in a public place and arrange your own transportation for the first date.

1. An afternoon meeting is always a good choice; you could meet for lunch or a fun activity.  Usually this type of date can save you money as well, lunch is usually always less expensive than dinner and matinees are cheaper as well.  Afternoon dates give you many more options for activities as well like museums, sightseeing and hiking.

1. Make sure that you are on time and dress appropriately.     

Sharing a meal on your first date may not be a good idea.  Many people tend to be a little nervous when they are eating in front of strangers.  And after we eat we tend to get a little lazy or need a nap.  Most of us have been taught that it is not polite to talk with food in our mouths, so a big meal wouldn’t allow much conversation either. On the other hand a person’s table manners tell us a lot about them.  Perhaps an afternoon cocktail and some appetizers will be what you need to get the conversations flowing and put both of you at ease.

Afternoon dates tend to be less romantic so you will not be pressured to invite each other in for nightcaps.  You should be more focused on the conversations and getting to know each other and having a good time.